life – Selina J. Eckert

You Will Never Feel Ready.

I have a rather short post today, but the sentiments are so important.

You see, for years I put off writing until I had more time, until I knew more, until I felt inspired enough. Then I finally began to take it seriously and make time. But after that I did something just as stifling to my progress as a writer: I put off publishing because I had no idea what I was doing. I wasn’t ready.

I can’t express how many times I’ve heard people, including myself, say they’ll do something later. They want to wait until they have more time or life slows down a little or, and this the big one (and today’s focus), they feel like they’re ready.

But here’s a hint: you will never feel ready.

And if you wait until you do, you will be putting off your dreams until the day you die.

Here’s the thing. In writing, as in life, it’s easier to learn to do something by actually doing it. In fact, even the “masters” don’t feel like they know what they’re doing. Here’s a quote for you:

“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.” ~Ernest Hemingway

No one ever feels ready when they do something for the first time (okay, maybe not ever, but it’s highly common). But you know what? After they do the thing once, it’s easier the next time.

Publishing my book independently was a scary thing for me. It involves a lot of expense and a steep learning curve for everything from hiring professionals for various stages of the process to learning how to upload files and make the thing to even the actual business of being an author selling books. It was super intimidating. It still is.

But it was my dream to share stories with the world, to be able to hold my book baby in print.

In truth, I don’t feel ready. I don’t feel nearly ready. But I’m moving forward anyway.

I hope you do, too.

~~~

Your turn! What authorly things have you been putting off just because you don’t feel ready? Tell me in the comments, and let’s talk!

Also, speaking of publishing, I finally got the final cover from my cover designer! Mark your calendar for February 8th… the cover reveal for This Cursed Flame is coming soon!

Why I Love the Author Community

Life is full of competition and people who only look out for themselves. It’s dog-eat-dog, every man for himself… or so it seems. There’s competition for jobs, for acceptance into a program, for tickets to events, even for something as small as that last bottle of your favorite drink at the store.

But you know one place that doesn’t feel this way? The writing community.

I don’t know if any of you have experienced this, but other than the occasional bad egg (looking at you, arrogant person on Twitter obsessed with telling people how stupid they are), I have never felt more supported and encouraged than when I talk to other writers online. I’m not exactly sure why this is, but I have theories.

Writers, especially those going into traditional publishing (even self publishing), know how hard this life is. They understand the rejection that lurks around every corner. They know how difficult it is to “make it.” And they know the trials they went through and are still going through and will be coming back tomorrow.

And you know what? I think that makes them some of the most empathetic people I’ve ever met. Well, that and jumping into a new person’s head every day they write.

You see, there’s enough hard stuff in this industry, and writers remember how it was starting out, how intimidating and big and scary the industry seemed (and still is, to many). They know what it feels like to feel insufficient, like you’re not good enough, like your work isn’t good enough, and not even knowing the first step to take to tackle a mountain-sized project.

And they don’t just stop with the empathy.

They help.

Like, actually help. Got questions on minor details of a formatting issue? Post it in a writer’s group or on Twitter, and someone will come to your rescue. Feeling the burn of a rejection? You can find sympathy, empathy, and encouragement from any one of these people! Confused how to start editing your book? There are so many editors out there who hang out in forums and hashtags and just answer people’s questions.

And what’s more, these people very rarely say anything negative to you. They build you up. They encourage you. When you query, they cheer you on. When you get an agent or a publishing deal, they dance and celebrate with you. And that is such a rare thing in a professional world, to have your peers celebrate your successes with you.

Sure, there are things I encounter in certain groups or threads that burn me up or hurt my feelings, but the frequency of this kind of encounter is so much lower than all the positivity I have found to radiate from the writing community. It truly is like nothing I’ve encountered before, and I am in love with it.

In a career filled with negative things, let’s keep this positivity going.

~~~

What about you? Do you participate in any writing or author communities? What have your experiences been like? Do you agree with me? Why or why not? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

Writing When You Feel Drained

Writing is an intense creative process that can take an immense amount of mental energy. It is impossible to be passive when your mind is actively creating worlds and people and situations. And that can be incredibly tiring. As we write more and more often, it becomes easier for us to sit and extend our writing time, but we all eventually reach that limit where our brains are just too tired to write another word. And normally, that doesn’t present an issue.

But what about when other things in your life are draining your mental energy? When you can barely stand the thought of adding even one word to your manuscript?

Previously, I’ve discussed the difficulties of writing when life is crazy or when you are experiencing some sort of health problems, and today I want to revisit that just a bit with a related topic: writing when you feel drained.

You see, the last few weeks have been kind of hectic at work; we have had a huge project generating mountains of data every day, and I had the herculean task of compiling, organizing, and arranging all of that data. And it’s been constantly changing, requiring me to go back and change all the previously generated analyses. This has led to three weeks of constant data processing for the entire workday, and it has left my brain feeling fried.

And I’m sure I’m not alone. How many other writers are out there with their day jobs sucking away their creative minds? How many other writers toil the day away at work or even at home and feel too tired to work on writing by the end of it? The truth is simple: nearly everyone will experience this at one time or another.

So what can we do when we feel drained? How do we keep ourselves motivated without burning out? I have a few tips (and these might sound familiar).

Give yourself a break. I know, counterintuitive, right? But when we are tired and our creative well is low, we don’t need to be beating ourselves up for not being productive. We need to cut ourselves some slack, understand that it’s okay to take a break, and be kind to ourselves. And if that means not writing for a few days or even weeks, then so be it. You cannot fill from an empty cup.
Take time to recharge. When things are busy and difficult during the day, it can be hard to sit down and write when we actually have the time. So when you can’t write, make sure you are doing things that will refill that creative well, things that will ease your burdened brain. Spend time with your family, go for walks, relax in front of the TV… do what you need to do in order to feel better. Your health and well-being always comes first!
Set reasonable goals. Don’t forget about your writing schedule, even when you’re not writing. Make yourself a goal or two during the downtime. Maybe your goal is simply to scribble one sentence per day. Maybe it’s to brainstorm new ideas. Maybe it’s even to take a week off. Decide what will help you and your writing best, make it achievable, and follow through. Do what you can… but don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. Make your writing habits work for you during this time, and don’t worry about making adjustments. Personally, my habits are always shifting, anyway.
And finally, use your time to your advantage. You can recharge while still making your time productive and contributing to your writing. You can listen to podcasts or read or draw your characters. You can talk about the story to a friend. You can simply binge Netflix for “research.” One thing I find helps me when I’m tired is reading books, and this is a great way to keep up on things we should be doing as writers. Whatever you do, try to find at least one thing that will make you a better writer and add it into your recharge time. But make sure it fills that recharge requirement, too!

These are some tips I find helpful when I’m feeling creatively drained due to mentally taxing things going on in my life. One important thing to remember, though, is that you can’t take a break forever. Don’t wait around for things to slow down or life to improve… it may never happen. Make your writing happen instead in the midst of a hectic life. If the draining time is dragging on, it may be time to re-evaluate your daily and weekly writing goals. But when these bouts of feeling drained crop up in our normal lives, utilizing the tips above will help you to recharge, feel better about yourself and your writing, feel better in general, and get back to the things you love.

Take breaks when you need to. Take care of yourself. Cut yourself some slack. And remember this one final thought: you are still a writer, even when you aren’t writing. Taking a break doesn’t make you any less.

And when you’re feeling better, dive right back in.

~~~

Your turn: what tips do you have for when you’re feeling mentally drained? How do you approach your own writing at these times? Tell me in the comments!

Writing When Life Gets Crazy

As writers, we often find joy, peace, and stress relief in our writing (ignore those infuriating, anxiety-inducing things like “sharing” and “querying” for a moment). Once we dedicate ourselves to our writing, we even find that we want to make time for it on a regular basis, that it gives us excitement, energy, and purpose.

But when we are just starting out or when our lives start changing, that can be more difficult. Maybe we have full-time jobs or responsibilities that cut into our writing time. Maybe we have a lot of hobbies that eat up our free time. Or maybe events happen in your life that change your ability to write for a time, such as planning parties or weddings or starting a new relationship.

Personally, I encountered this between the end of March and beginning of May. I got married on April 21 (yay!), which meant that for the weeks leading up to the wedding I was insanely busy and stressed (boo!). It also meant that the weeks following the wedding I was traveling and recovering from being insanely busy and stressed.

And you know what? Not having the time, creative energy, or motivation to sit down at the keyboard took its toll on me. I became irritable and anxious about everything, even toward the man I love more than anyone. I started having stress-related health issues (which I’m still trying to fix). I battled my anxiety and my depression to keep from losing it completely (when they say weddings are stressful, it’s an understatement).

All because I had no outlet and I let myself get caught up in not doing the things that restore me. I wasn’t creating and my dreams felt stagnant. I wasn’t working toward them. My job felt pointless and unfulfilling. And yeah, there was good reason I wasn’t working toward my dreams, but still, being able to do something to move you toward your goals is SO IMPORTANT. I knew it was a temporary situation, but I really did suffer for it.

So, in hindsight, let’s discuss how to deal with your writing (or any other dreams) when life gets a little out of control. And maybe next time, I won’t lose it so much either!

Use the time you can find. It can be hard to find time to do things that restore you when you’re busy and stressed and ready to explode. But you know what? You can. It won’t necessarily be your first choice, but if it’s something important to you or something you need for your own self care (like writing for me), then you need to just do it.
So what do I mean? Can you set your alarm five minutes earlier in the morning and just write for five minutes? What about staying up five minutes later? Brainstorm while you’re on your commute? Take a couple minutes out of your lunch break? As soon as you get home, scrawl a sentence into your work in progress? These are all tiny, but if you can do even one of them, it can make a huge difference in how you feel. It’s small, but it’s not stagnant. You’re keeping your creative brain active and awake. I wish I had done that this past month instead of letting everything sit and fester.
Cut yourself some slack. Listen. Life gets rough sometimes. You run into issues or things get away from you. It happens to everyone. Don’t beat yourself up. We’re all doing the best we can. Your dreams will still be there no matter what you do. Try to take little steps, but if you can’t even do that? Give yourself a break. As writers, we have enough forces coming at us in the form of rejections and critiques and reviews that we really don’t need to add to the negativity just by opening our own mouths.
Take care of yourself. Make sure you put yourself and your health above trying to crank out work. Yes, do those things that you have to, like wedding planning or building a relationship or whatever it is that is interfering with your writing schedule… but don’t forget that your health is the first priority. That includes mental health. So take that bubble bath. Read that book before bed. Take a walk. Just take care of yourself in whatever way you need to in order to get through the tough time.
Refuel yourself. Listen, tough times drain us. They drain us emotionally, physically, mentally, and creatively. Don’t expect yourself to jump right back in as soon as things get better. You need to recover. Make sure you’re putting coins in the bank of creativity: keep notes while you’re busy of things you can come back to later, make every experience count toward writing fodder (as I call it… this is anything I consider usable writing material). But while you do that, give yourself time to relax and refill creative tanks without pressuring yourself to get back to your former writing performance. It takes time. For me, it was my honeymoon. I spent a week with no responsibility, seeing things I’d never seen. And by the third day, I was already inventing story ideas in my head. Refueling is vital!
Keep dreaming. Don’t give up, even if you can’t be as involved and active as you want to be. Life can be hard. But don’t let it steal your joy.

Writers are such a unique breed. We need to write to take care of ourselves, yet our writing is also one of our greatest sources of stress and anxiety, especially when we can’t work on it. So, knowing this, we need to work extra hard during the tough times to take care of ourselves and do what we can to keep the creativity flowing. Or to at least make deposits in the creativity bank. If we can’t take care of ourselves, our writing is going to suffer, and so are we. Take care of yourself.

For now, that’s all. I’m ready to dive back into more creation! Good luck, and please share your tips and comments below. I’d love to know how you deal with your writing when life is busy!

2018 Writing Goals

Hey there, friends! It’s the end of the year, so that means it’s a good time to reflect on the last year, both good and bad, and look forward to the year ahead. Today I’m going to share some of my personal and writing-focused experiences and goals for 2017 and 2018.

First, a look back on 2017. 2017 was a rough year, but it also had a lot of good in it. Here are the things I’m more than happy to say goodbye to:

I lost two of my grandparents.
I lost my cat, who I had for not long enough, due to genetic kidney disease.
There was way more than normal stress with different people in my life for different reasons.

And the good of 2017:

I got engaged!
I moved past my depression enough to say goodbye to medication (at least for now and hopefully forever).
My brother got married right before Christmas.

And the 2017 writing goals:

Regain my writing schedule. Status: IN PROGRESS. I don’t have a regular schedule, but I did get back enough to complete a draft of a novel and start a new one. I also participated in Camp NaNoWriMo in July (and completed it) and NaNoWriMo in November (I did not finish, but did surpass 30k words on a new fantasy novel).
Publish or get an agent for This Cursed Flame. Status: ALTERED. I made a lot of changes to the book over the summer, and, after a number of things not working out and re-evaluating my own goals for the book, I decided to publish it on Wattpad. You can read it here as I release chapters.
Finish Foxfire. Status: COMPLETE! I did manage to finish the draft of Foxfire, the first of hopefully many in an adult contemporary/urban fantasy series. I’m currently going through edits and revisions.

So what’s coming up in 2018? My wedding, in just under four months! I’m very excited to move on to this part of my life, and I’ve been very blessed to find a great guy who loves me, supports me, and pushes me to reach all my dreams and goals.

And now, what you’ve all been waiting for. My 2018 writing goals:

Write a little every day, no matter how much.
Complete Foxfire and get it to the query stage!
Complete my high fantasy in progress and begin edits.
Pick up an old story I had started, a YA fantasy thriller I’m currently calling Canary in the Coal Mine. (Yes, I mentioned this one before… so excited to get this one back out of the pile of dead ideas!)
And, finally, complete posting This Cursed Flame.

So what about you? What are your writing goals for this year? Share in the comments, and feel free to give some advice or ideas for how you plan to accomplish those goals!

Have a great new year, guys, and I hope it’s filled with success, love, and every good thing.

❤ Selina

Night Tales

I recently went on my annual family vacation, and this time things were a little different.

First, my boyfriend came with us. I’ve never had someone to bring along before, and he’s never been to the Outer Banks, NC. My family has been going there for at least a decade, nearly every summer. So for us, there really wasn’t anything new. But for him? It was all new.

And this time there was something new for me, too.

Boyfriend wasn’t really interested in most of the usual tourist-y things: climbing lighthouses, visiting the Wright Memorial (he would have wanted to go, but the museum is under construction until fall 2018, so we decided to postpone that one), going to the Roanoke Island Festival Park, etc. Instead, the one thing he wanted to do is something none of us had ever done before. He wanted to go kayaking at night.

Now, we had done some kayaking tours in past years, mostly around the Alligator River (I’ve never seen any alligators, but some of my family has). Those tours were pretty awesome, but we always went early in the day to avoid the summer heat. But to go at night… that was something all of us were afraid to do. So afraid, in fact, that only I would go with boyfriend this time around.

So we signed up for the Maritime Forest Bioluminescence Tour. I dreaded the coming of the night, afraid to be lost in the dark, by myself, in a salt marsh. Who knew what lurked just beyond my sight? How much would I really be able to see? How would I find my way back?

Turned out that a huge storm system rolled in and we were forced to reschedule right as I was starting to get excited about the tour.

So we went the next night to the Bodie Island Bioluminescence Tour. The night was warm and clear, the moon was nowhere to be seen, and even if it was, there wouldn’t be much light as it was in the waning phases. We also found out this was the better of the two tours being offered. It was a perfect night for such a tour.

All we really expected to see were fireflies, but it was so much better than that.

We left the shore into the super calm waters across from the Bodie Island Lighthouse. It was so quiet, and it got even more quiet (and dark) the further we got from the highway. We saw the International Space Station fly by overhead. The stars became clearer and more abundant. We could even see the cloudy light of the Milky Way overhead.

And then something happened that I had never expected to see in my life: bioluminescent plankton began to glow and sparkle with every stroke of the paddles. Every drop to fall from the paddle, every stroke, every hand drawn through the warm water stirred up these plankton.

It was magical.

The guides instructed us to put our hands six inches down and snap our fingers if we couldn’t quite tell, if they just looked like bubbles, but it just became more and more apparent the farther we paddled from shore (and the light pollution). I put my hand in the water, which terrified and exhilarated me at the same time. Around my hand, the plankton were almost a white cloud of light, and the bright blue of their glow grew brighter as they drifted away from me. It truly did look like magic.

All around, fish began jumping in the water. You see, small fish are attracted to the bioluminescence of the plankton, and they pursue it for their dinner. The glow then also attracts larger fish, the ones who were jumping, to go after these small predator fish. So the glow attracts the predators of the plankton’s predators, thereby protecting them. Weird, right? But so cool (I know, I know. But hey, I’m a biologist!). Other than the fact that one of these larger fish jumped out of the water and right into my shoulder! I smelled like fish the rest of the night, and it scared me more than anything else. And now I have a funny story to share!

But, besides sharing this magical experience with you, there is a point to my story.

If we never do something because we are afraid, we miss out on something that could be truly magical. Perhaps this applies to your creative processes, such as writing or drawing. Perhaps it is in sharing what you create. Perhaps it applies to an activity that scares you, like this nighttime excursion scared me.

Sometimes we need to do things that scare us, because those can end up being some of our best experiences. And if we can’t do them alone, we find those people who push us and encourage us.

So this is my learned lesson shared with you: do the things that scare you. And if you are having trouble on your own, find those people to push you past your comfort zone. Let the magic happen.

As for me, I’ll be forever grateful to boyfriend for making me go on this tour. I have beautiful memories with him and of the experience, I have a painting to make of the experience, I have material for my writing, and I have pride in knowing I did something no one else in my family would do.

It was a good night, and I can’t wait to do it again.

Yes, You’re Still a Writer.

Writers write. Right? That’s what it means to be a writer. But what about those times that you need to take a break?

This is life. We encounter problems like lack of time (even if we try to make the time, sometimes we can’t), health problems (physical or mental), and unexpected obligations or tasks that require our time and energy (in work, our personal life, or both). Sometimes we are so drained or unable to put pen to paper (or fingers to keys) that we just can’t write. So we don’t.

You’ll probably see a lot of advice out there telling you that in order to call yourself a writer, you must write every day. I have said before that in order to be a writer you must write. But I know it isn’t reasonable and shouldn’t be expected that a writer writes every single day.

Instead, I think it’s more realistic to say that a writer writes when he or she can, regardless of inspiration. It’s about dedication. Practice writing is important to making your writing better. But sometimes writers can’t write, and that’s when they often sit and think about writing. Or the fact that they’re not writing. It’s a guilty cycle. When you write, you don’t feel like a real writer. When you don’t write, you feel like a bad writer.

My advice is usually to try to make yourself write something every day. Even if that something is a sentence. But if you can’t, it’s really okay. I promise. You don’t stop being a writer. It’s okay to take a break when you need to. It’s okay to skip days. I’ve skipped days, I’ve taken long breaks for months. I’ve had years where I barely wrote a word. I’ve felt the guilt and the itch of not being able to write for one reason or another. But I’ve learned that it’s okay.

Think about the stars. Do they go away when the sun comes out? No! The sunlight just keeps us from being able to see them for a while. But as soon as the sun goes down, the stars come back as bright as ever.

It’s the same thing with writing. If you’re taking a break from writing, think of yourself as a star during the day. You’re still a writer, you just aren’t showing your writer side for the time being. It will come back, if that’s what you want.

So don’t stress yourself out so much. Write when you can, when you have the time and energy and health to put into it. If you can’t, don’t count yourself out. Come back to it when you are able, and focus your energy on where it needs to be in the moment.

Don’t let anyone tell you that means you’re not a writer. You are still a writer.

The Demons of Discouragement

There are few things in life and the creative process that can stop you as dead in your tracks as discouragement. It dries up your wells of creativity, telling you that you’ll never get to where you want to be, asking you why you even bother trying. It keeps your head filled with lies about your ability and capability. It pushes you down in the dirt, even if others try to encourage and build you up. Not much creativity happens when you’re faceplanted in a ditch in your own head.

Discouragement can have a lot of causes. Maybe it comes from a lack of inspiration, that feeling that maybe you’ve just lost your spark. Maybe it’s waiting for the thirtieth reply that isn’t coming, ever, from a publisher or agent. Maybe it’s your health or state of mind that is setting up blocks, setting you up to fail. Maybe it’s a combination of things that started small and grew until you couldn’t stop it anymore. Somehow, the cards are just stacked against you. You get discouraged, and your creativity falls asleep.

But notice what I said. It falls asleep. It doesn’t die. It isn’t stolen. It doesn’t fade from existence. It’s taking a break.

I must admit that I’ve been stuck in that rut of discouragement lately. I’m tired, I’m feeling uninspired, and I feel like no one will ever want anything I create. I feel like a failure and a fraud in my creative life.

And then, while I was just starting to feel a little bit discouraged but willing to keep trying, life hit me in the face. I got a boyfriend (who I love dearly and wouldn’t trade for anything!), so my time to create slowed down as I started reorganizing my time and how I spend my evenings. I had to learn how to still do the things I love while spending time with him. Then my family dog died just a little bit before Thanksgiving, very unexpectedly, which has been hard on all of us, especially since it’s the holiday season. And I’ve had personal demons to cope with as bits of my depression resurfaced as a result of all the lemons life has been lobbing at me. Let me tell you, lemon juice in a wound does not make it feel better.

So I stopped. Everything just stopped. I spent endless hours watching TV or scrolling Facebook for no other reason than I simply didn’t want to do anything else. I started feeling guilty for doing nothing, for ignoring my dreams, for letting my blogs stagnate, for not creating or reading or being Selina as I know her. And I hate that.

But I’m not done. My muse didn’t die, she just took a nap. And while I still feel guilty for the things I’m not doing (sorry guys, I promise I don’t want to abandon you), I also know that maybe it’s time to slow down a little, put a bit less pressure on myself to be productive. I need to let myself take it easy and simply create for the joy of creating, to remember why I love to read and write and draw, to lose myself in the process of creating. And I know getting back into it will be hard, especially since I’ve been pretty sporadic and unscheduled since my final year of grad school. But I dearly miss having my writing schedule, thinking 24/7 of my story and characters, plotting as I’m doing everything else. I miss the excitement I felt waiting to come home so I could lose myself in the world I had made, to experience my own story in a new way. I want to be the artist I know I am.

I know it’s going to be hard. And if you’ve ever felt this way, I know you understand. It’s in these times that we must trust our own dreams and desires, that we trust the people who love and support us, and that we trust ourselves.

We will get through it.

We just can’t let ourselves give up.

The Importance of Being Artists

Hey guys! So I was doing a lot of thinking over the past few months, encouraged by a couple of life groups in which I was involved (Bible study groups) and today’s sermon at church. The idea is the importance of art and the calling of the artist. Before those of you who are no religious run away, let me say that what I am talking about here applies to everyone.

The first book I read that started this thinking was Unlocking the Heart of the Artist by Matt Tommey in Fall of 2015. A lot of this book focused on claiming the name of “artist” and addressing the things that keep us from fulfilling that role, such as past trauma, present circumstances, and future anxieties. This resonated with me so incredibly. I truly felt like someone was reading back my own feelings. There is something to be said for interacting with people who share passions and personality traits (such as being creative).

One of the things Tommey says in his second book, Creativity According to the Kingdom, is that art bypasses all of the normal thought and logic and cuts straight to the heart and emotion of the audience. He says it a little differently, but that’s the gist of it.

Art is powerful. Art is what makes us who we are. There is art everywhere we look, in music, in books, in poetry, in paintings and drawings and nature and life itself. Isn’t it incredible that we get to contribute to that legacy?

Whether you believe it or not, whether you are professional or not, whether you have been creating your entire life or for just a little while, what we do is important. And not everyone has the passion or ability to create. Embrace the gifts and skills you’ve been given and which you have worked so hard to develop.

Art is an integral part of life. It is emotion, yes, but it is emotion with substance.

Keep creating, fellow artists. No matter the audience, even if you create for yourself alone, don’t give it up. I promise you, what we do is so important.

The Distracted Writer

A lot of writers on the internet are likely to tell you the same thing: in order to write, you must turn off the distractions and focus on your writing and your writing alone.

So okay, I know that’s pretty good advice. The best way to focus on what you’re doing is not to multitask. No TV on in the “background”, no Netflix, no Facebook or Instagram or Tumblr or email. Just you and the page set in front of you. And maybe a good instrumental (or otherwise) writing playlist.

And I’ll be the first to say that this is good advice for any writer to follow.

However, I’ll also be the first to say that I very rarely write without distractions.

Like many newer writers (and by newer I mean those who may or may not have published yet but have only recently begun to seriously write… oftentimes juggling writing with a day job and/or family), I work at my job full-time (and previously I was a full-time student). I deal with my problems, health, social life, and expenses on a regular basis. I try to develop healthy habits like exercise and practicing mindfulness and daily time to nourish my relationship with God. And I try to keep some semblance of a writing habit on top of this.

But I’m also a huge nerd with a huge pile of hobbies. I love going to the movies. I get sucked into reading multiple books at a time. I paint, draw, and play piano. I binge shows on TV and on Netflix. And these hobbies take up time.

Now, I am lucky enough to have a job with very set hours, a job where the work doesn’t really come home with me. And now I live less than half an hour away. So I get to leave at 4 in the afternoon (usually) and have until about 11 pm (my bedtime) to do whatever needs to be done. Sometimes all I have time for is meeting with a friend or a group and then using the last hour (or less) to equilibrate my introvert self before I go to sleep. Sometimes I have an entire evening to pile in as many hobbies as I want.

This often leaves me in the dilemma of choosing to read OR watch Netflix OR do something else that requires less divided attention. Oftentimes I will open up my current novel and turn on the TV in the background, leaving both on for the entire night. Would I get more done if I just focused on one for a set amount of time? Sure I would.

But I’ll let you in on a hint about me. It is very rare that I find myself able to focus solely on one thing. Even if I’m writing with nothing else, there’s still the cat. If I’m at my parents’ house, the different environment (and two lovable dogs) are distraction enough to keep me from even pulling out my computer. If I write with music, the music tends to carry me away anyway. And sure, I can focus when I need to. I’ve never had problems meeting deadlines. I know how to pace myself and how I work.

So the truth is, I am a perpetually distracted writer. And I know that. And you know what? That’s okay. Because I still get my work done, little by little, and I get a lot of it accomplished on weekends.

I am unlikely to finish my word count goal for Camp NaNo this year. I’m okay with that. My goal was more being able to get some kind of schedule back, because for a long time I had lost it entirely. I am getting my ability to write regularly back. And it’s regular writing, and not necessarily having a great, focused writing session day in and day out that leads to a completed work. Just always putting one word after another.

Sometimes that’s enough.