I don’t know about you, but I have very specific tastes when it comes to fictional romantic relationships, particularly the “I never want to see this” kind. These are definitely personal preferences, and if you like one or more of these, I’m certainly not trying to convince you not to or belittle you for something you like. To each their own! But these are the romantic relationships I could do without in my books.
- Student-teacher relationships. Example: Pretty Little Liars
Especially in YA, I really, really despise these kinds of relationships. In fact, let’s extend this out to any kind of relationship with a dangerous balance of power issue. Student-teacher or student-coach or student-parentofafriend or student/employee-boss. Why, you may ask? It’s gross (if it’s a child or teen and an adult), it’s not legal (or ethical), and I really feel like it gives young readers in particular a skewed idea of healthy relationships. It can blur the lines of right and wrong or safe and unsafe. Any kind of relationship where the balance of power is off (one person has more power than the other, like one controls a job or grade) can be incredibly dangerous and unethical, if not illegal, and it is just as dangerous to idealize or romanticize this abuse of power (as many books do).
- Love triangles. Examples: The Infernal Devices, Twilight
I am so over this one. Particularly as a person who never had more than one crush and never more than one person (if that) interested in her, I find these kinds of stories dull, self-indulgent, arrogant on the part of the one caught in the middle, and unrealistic. That whole “Oh no, two boys like me, how will I choose when I like them both!” thing just grates on me. Yeah, maybe some people can relate to the situation, and that’s fine. And I know enough people like them for it to have become a trope in the first place. But if I never see another love triangle again, it will be too soon.
- Distant “family”. Examples: Born of Earth by A.L.Knorr, Newsflesh trilogy (to be clear, I LOVE both of these books/series…except for that relationship)
These are the romantic relationships that also toe the line between legal and illegal, just barely on the side of “this isn’t actually taboo.” For example, a girl falls in love with her adopted cousin or brother. Yeah, they’re not specifically related by blood, but they are still legally related. It just bothers me.
- Actual family. Examples: Flowers in the Attic
Speaking of family, how about actual family? Like, surpassing the normal family relationship to become romantically involved. It’s just another relationship that weirds me out. I don’t like reading about it. I find it unenjoyable and awkward, and that’s not something I’m looking for in my fiction.
- Bad boys/girls. Example: The Infernal Devices and so many others
I will never understand the books that romanticize falling in love with a guy or girl who treats the other person like dirt. Why would you want to be around someone who is mean all the time or acts like they don’t care about you? A real, good relationship is one where both parties feel valued and loved. Anything otherwise is modeling poor relationships. It’s not as dangerous as the power balance issues, but it can still lead to some bad times for actual humans.
- Abusive relationships. Example: 50 Shades of Gray (I didn’t read it, but I know enough)
Much like some of the above relationships, abusive relationships are difficult. They can model dangerous roles and choices to impressionable people, particularly if the relationship is romanticized. Personally, unless it is incredibly important to the story, I don’t really want to read about it. Especially with something like 50 Shades, where the characters seem ignorant and tolerant of such behaviors and it is never addressed. Abuse is never okay, and a lot of times it is lazy writing. I will be more okay with it if it is addressed or necessary, but it’s a hard balance, and I’ll need convincing.
So these are my most hated romantic relationships in fiction. Again, please remember that if you happen to really enjoy one of these kinds of relationships in your reading, I’m not trying to dissuade or belittle your choices and your enjoyment; I am merely pointing out the relationships I dislike and find particularly worrisome or troublesome.
Now that I’ve shared with you, it’s your turn! What are your least favorite romantic relationship tropes in fiction? Why? Share in the comments!
6 thoughts on “Six Relationship Tropes I Hate in Fiction”
It’s like I wrote this myself. I particularly get upset when a relationship is so blatantly disrespectful (often towards the girl) but still regarded as a heartwarming romance? I’m done with bad boys and romanticized abusive relationships.
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I absolutely agree! (obviously) I hate when stories try to make something harmful out to be something to yearn for. It sends a horrible message!
Yes to all of these!! I just recently read one with a student/teacher and was a little grossed out by it, and one with a foster sibling romance, too—technically, they weren’t related at all, and the girl was adopted by a different family when she was only five, but still … too iffy.
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Recently I watched 2 women get into a push, pull fight over a paperback “Fifty Shades of Gray ” WHY? It’s a poorly written Harlequin piece of abusive pornography. I didn’t finish it either but I read enough. Why do women like this boo
Personally, I’m not a fan of it either (for the very same reasons). There’s a good reason it’s on this list. But that said, I will never tell someone what they can or can’t read… only the things I don’t want to read. 🙂 Even when there are significant problems, some people need certain books at certain times, and it’s not my place to judge.
But I will also not be recommending it as a must-read to anyone anytime soon. 😉
I got through 2 chapters. That’s all I could take. What is it about that book, women either hate it or love it.